Parenting is one of the most awesome things, but not when mom guilt strikes. It feels like your own body eating you away bits by bits. For some mothers, mom guilt can come at a relatively higher degree, forcing them into doing bad things to punish themselves in the hope that they will feel better.
While in some cases, mom guilt is just a notion, probably caused by past trauma or previous parenting mistakes. Although overcoming mom guilt can take a lot of time and effort, strive to get rid of it before it consumes you.
What Is Mom Guilt?
From the name, mom guilt is the feeling of doubt, guilt, restlessness, and bitterness when a mom feels as if they are not parenting their kids in the best way. For instance, a mother can feel guilty if she stays at work the whole day, leaving her child in the hands of a nanny.
First-time mothers are the most affected by mom guilt, thanks to the people who keep advising them to do this and the notion that the truth is that every mom is different, and you can’t bring up your baby the same way your neighbor does. More specifically, taking people’s opinions on how to mother your baby can leave you confused, and that’s where mom’s guilt starts to develop.
Already feeling guilty? Here are tips on how you can survive and overcome mom guilt.
How to Beat Mom Guilt
There are many causes of mom guilt and each may require a specific solution to overcome it. Check out some of the possibly viable solutions.
Sometimes, mom guilt doesn’t result from false feelings of being a bad mother. Instead, it emanates from the reality staring at you. For instance, if you keep comparing your child to other kids, or discipline them harshly in front of others, you should definitely feel guilty. If your mom guilt results from such instances of bad parenting, the only way to overcome it is changing for the better. Rectify your mistakes and become a better mother.
Believe in Your Capabilities
Low self-esteem is one of the major causes of mom guilt, especially for new mothers. Most new moms, especially those who got babies at a relatively young age, lack self-confidence. As a new mom, there could be things you don’t know how to handle. For example, many first-time mothers don’t know how to bathe their babies. If such things make you feel guilty, accept to learn, and believe that you can do it perfectly. Fear could be the only thing standing in your way to becoming the mother you want to be.
Before you mold yourself into the mother you wish to be, you first have to let go of the past. Forget about the day you yelled at your baby or that afternoon you failed to show up at your son’s soccer match to go drinking. Forgiving yourself is the first step towards overcoming mom guilt. Although it may seem difficult, it’s doable.
Accept Motherhood Diversity
This simply means that no two mothers are the same. As long as you are not abusing your child or interfering with any of their rights, believe that you are a good mother. You may not take your child to the park every weekend or attend all their music rehearsals as your friend does, but you try your best to be there for them.
We both know bills got to be paid, and sometimes you may have to choose between an unpaid mortgage and a happy child. If your child can understand, reassure them about your love and apologize for not being there for them fully. With a happy and satisfied child, you shouldn’t have problems getting rid of mom guilt.
Love Yourself Too
As much as your child means the whole world to you, remember that you had a life before the little human being showed up. It should not always be about them. At times, you may need to do things that hurt your child for their own good.
Wait, how can you hurt someone for their own good?
Take an example of a well-paying job that takes up most of your time. At the end of the day, your child will get all the fancy toys and things they want, but they won’t spend as much time with you as they wish.
If you love yourself too, you won’t be afraid to compromise a bit for your happiness and the wellbeing of your family. When you see the results of the sacrifice, mom guilt will be the least of your worries.
These are some of the tips that can help you in overcoming mom guilt. Parenting is such an enjoyable thing to keep crucifying yourself, just because you don’t feel adequate. If you need someone to support you in parenting, at AGAPE confinement nannies we have got your back.