Raising a family in the modern world comes with various roles and responsibilities that go beyond finances. It’s crucial for both parents in a household to actively engage in sharing household duties and parenting. Agreeing on a routine or a set of activities that can ease the parenting burden can be quite tricky. Here are five tips you can use when you want to share parenting roles in your household.
1. Lay out your expectations
A relationship that involves parenting can work well when you don’t have exaggerated expectations about each other. Always speak out if you are feeling overwhelmed by the parenting roles you’re playing. Look back at the expectations you had as a parent and see how your spouse met them.
Discuss your expectations with your partner to determine how they’ll meet them. Avoid setting yourself up for tasks, roles, or responsibilities that exceed your expectations. Remember to keep an open mind with regards to your parenting roles to accommodate any household changes.
2. Know precisely what your spouse needs from you
Most spouses fail to play their parenting roles because of poor planning actively. As you lay out your expectations regarding parenting, take time to listen to your partner’s needs. Ask them to explain these needs in detail as you determine whether they’re realistic. Use this information to come up with a unique, individual plan that will work in your household.
3. Explore each other’s skills, gifts, and passions
Each spouse in a household brings a unique set of skills, gifts, and passions. If you are good with numbers, you can manage the family’s finances. Since both of you may possess different talents, it’s vital to tap into them when sharing parenting roles. Let them benefit your household in its entirety.
Sit down with your partner and discuss what each of you is naturally good at or enjoys doing. Come up with a plan that allows both of you to divide parenting roles based on your talents and abilities. You’ll find the tasks more comfortable and more fun to execute.
4. Choose tasks that are in line with your schedule.
It’s important to acknowledge that both of you will have a life outside parenting. Your work may require you to take long shifts or travel a lot. On the other side, your spouse may have a work-from-home type of job. Both of you must work out a plan to raise your kids irrespective of your work schedule differences.
If your work requires you to spend a lot of time from home, you can still keep in touch with your spouse via video chats and take advantage of the leaves and holidays. The goal here is to have the kids feel like both of their parents are giving them the love and care they deserve. Ensure that your spouse and kids are comfortable with how you play your parenting roles in either case.
Your parenting roles should be more, even if both of you have full-time jobs. In such a case, you can entrust a nanny to take care of the kids when you are both unable to be with them physically. It would help if you didn’t leave all of your parenting roles on the nanny. Let the kids know that you will always make time for them despite your demanding careers.
5. Be patient with each other.
Parenting comes with a wide range of challenges that require a team effort to solve. Your spouse may feel fearful or insecure about playing their role to the extent that they default on parenting. You need to be supportive of your partner when such a scenario occurs to help them work through the fears. Encourage and be patient with each other as you acknowledge that you will both overcome any challenges that come your way.
Take on the parenting roles one at a time as you learn the unique challenges each one carries. Consult with your spouse if you encounter difficulties carrying out a particular function. Since your parenting efforts will get better with time, it’s advisable not to stress over your inability to get a particular role right.
Final Thoughts
Since every household is different when it comes to the allocation of parenting roles, there’s no one-size-fits-all solution for spouses. Your chances of succeeding in parenting will depend on how you balance your gifts (skills and passions), other responsibilities, and schedules. You won’t get it right the first time. Both of you need to be patient for you to settle on something that works for your family.
At AGAPE Confinement Lady, we understand that modern socioeconomic times significantly affect households when it comes to parenting. Not every spouse can dedicate 100 percent of their time to raising kids. Our highly skilled nannies are always at your service when you’re looking for someone to care for your children. They understand that every family is unique and is willing to adjust to your family’s demands.